


Cats in a Bag

by Vigilant_Insomniac



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Ableism, Blindness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson Friendship, Matt Murdock Gets a Hug, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27985512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vigilant_Insomniac/pseuds/Vigilant_Insomniac
Summary: "Are you even blind"Matt is increasingly under the impression that maybe he fucked up his explanation of his abilities.... Judging by Foggy's anger and mistrust thats directed his way almost always lately.~~~~Or: Matt and Foggy need to actually sit down and talk about... A lot. Since otherwise their frindship might not last much longer.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 134





	Cats in a Bag

**Author's Note:**

> Pure self indulgence at 4 a.m.
> 
> I regret nothing.  
> Those boys need to talk and get their heads out of their asses. Jeeses christ they are lawyers. They should be better at talking.

"You went out again yesterday." Foggy concluded just a moment after Matt entered the office. 

It was a statement, not a question, and overall thinly veiled distaste. 

Matt held back a sigh as he closed the door behind him and put his cane in the place next to it where it belonged while he was working. 

"Just a bit." 

Matt could have sworn that the look Foggy gave him, rivaled the previous tone in his voice. 

It had been a while since Foggy had found out. A lot had happened since then, most of it on the bad and painful side. 

There should have been a certain amount of relief to having his friend in his corner. Having not to pretend and lie every time…. There should. But truthfully? Matt felt more tense than ever in his company. 

"What's on the schedule today? Did the files for the Miller case come in?" 

Foggy took a moment to reply, apparently hesitant to just change the topic, but ultimately gave in. 

"We have a new client coming in at around 11 and the meeting for the Millers case at 3:30. But we should probably go over everything before then. 

The files were in the mail" Foggy moved towards his desk presumably to pick something up while Matt made his way to his desk to set up for the day. 

He was just booting up his computer when his partner crossed the office space towards him with some muttered curses. 

"I heard Karen make sure they send a braille copy when she was on the phone with them… Like at least 5 times. Guess what they didn't send." Foggy waved the offending bundle of papers in the air before slapping them on Matt's desk. 

Matt just groaned in response. 

Typical. Why would he expect anything else. 

Foggy's heart did a thing and Matt felt immediately on guard… but still didn't quite expect the words that left his friend's mouth. 

"Can't you still just read them… you know, with your  _ thing _ " he made a gesture that might have been some wiggling of his fingers. 

Matt didn't really feel like analyzing this further, too busy staring disbelievingly into his friend's general direction. What. 

"Foggy, I'm…. How do you expect me to read this?" 

_ Are you even blind…  _ that phrase echoed in his head, getting distorted eerily as he picked up on Foggy who just radiated mistrust. 

Carefully Matt put his hands on one of the papers anyways, but he could only feel the textured surface of the sheet, smell ink and wood and bleach and iron. 

He strained his senses to pick up any elevations where maybe the print made a difference in the paper. 

But there was nothing that he could discern. 

He glared his best death glare downwards towards his hands. Foggy just watched until the frustration must have become absolutely visible in Matt's face despite the glasses hiding some of his features, then he snatched up the papers and muttered an awkward apology. 

Matt ran his hair through his hair while Foggy left for his own office. 

He wholeheartedly wished his secret had never come out. 

This constant mistrust and scrutiny ate at him. This was exactly why he couldn't tell people, even if he trusted them to not straight up go to the police. 

This time he let out a sigh and gave himself time to draw a slow breath back in before turning to work. 

________ 

  
  


The next time Matt felt like cursing about this whole identity reveal was when he just… Had a really bad day. 

There was a road repair going on in the street below and the noise and the frequency of the machines was almost nauseating. He poured all his energy into just focusing on the tasks right before him and it left him exhausted and slightly inattentive. There was a headache that he tried hard to ignore. Mind over body and all that. 

By the time someone knocked without an appointment in quest for some legal advice, Matt had already been ready to just call it a day.

Unfortunately this wouldn't go, if it was a first time meeting of a potential new client, unannounced or not. 

So he sucked it up and tried his best to focus on the here and now. 

Foggy had already greeted the slightly older woman and led her to his office. 

So Matt got up and walked over to take a seat next to his partner. 

He slightly misjudged the placement of the furniture though. Foggy didn't care that much anymore about keeping everything at a fixed place, and while normally, this didn't really matter much, it still demanded extra focus to reorientate himself in their office. Every day. 

And today was just a bad day. So he stumbled a bit when he bumped against a chair he hadn’t quite placed there with his senses.

He felt his face heat up a bit, but his slip up was tiny enough, and the client probably didn't even notice. Or care. He  _ was  _ a blind lawyer after all. Usually this was just part of his "act". 

Foggy did make a small sound though, that Matt tried hard not to interpret as annoyed. 

The meeting went on fairly normal though. The woman was indeed willing to hire them and her case was going to be pretty cut and dry, she was honest and didn't hold back any information they might need. 

So everything was well, until Matt reached to grab the glass of water on the desk in front of him. 

He misjudged. Not by much, but enough that he caused it to tip over. 

"Oh shit" Foggy hissed as he jumped up to grab some of the things that were about to get soaked as the water spread on the desk. 

"I'm so sorry!" Matt immediately hurried to get some dish towels from their mini kitchen. 

He could hear the woman placate them when Foggy also started to apologize for Matt's mishap, who couldn't help but frown at the edge in the other lawyer's tone. 

They cleaned up and thankfully they had been at the end of the meeting anyways. 

Once their new client had left, Foggy basically hissed at him. 

"You know I get the whole blind act, but this was overdoing it. Cool it next time." 

And with a huff he stormed out to fetch some more towels, leaving Matt to just stand there, slightly dumbfounded. 

Foggy did know that he was actually blind, right? Like, zero light perception? 

His headache really started to build up to a full blown migraine. 

So once he helped with the rest of the clean up, he grabbed a cab and just went home and straight to bed.  _ Are you even blind  _ replayed in tune with his pounding head. 

_______ 

  
  


Foggy had made Matt promise to tell him stuff. Like when he got hurt. 

So Matt felt really guilty when, after a rougher night, he in fact did not tell his friend about his stitches in his side or the ribs that were most definitely bruised where they weren't cracked. 

Claire hadn't been available yesterday, so he did his best on his own... 3 hours before he had dragged himself to work. 

So now, at least the guilt took the backseat among pain, exhaustion and blood loss. 

The day was still going fine though.

And he said as much everytime Karen or Foggy asked if he was okay.

Because he was. He was fine. He just needed to sleep this off later today. 

But, apparently "later" was "now". 

He got up to get coffee and then woke up again to an angry beating of someone's heart slightly beside/above him. 

He also was lying on the ground with his feet elevated. 

Shit. 

"Oh good. You're awake." Foggy huffed out. Concern, anger and disappointment equally present in his voice. 

Matt closed his eyes and didn't have to wait long for the inevitable. 

"When were you going to tell me that you were about to keel over? Or were you just not going to say anything? Then again, judging by you, lying on the floor after  _ fainting _ , I already have my answer, don't I?" 

Matt groaned and he forced his limbs to help him back into a more upright position. 

"Karen?" Matt asked tentatively. 

"She's on an errand run. I told her-  _ lied to her _ that you fainted because you've been skipping meals. So she'll get some Gatorade and salt crackers. You can't keep doing this Matt. I thought we agreed. You might not deem yourself important and rather run across the city beating up people that are armed with  _ knives _ and  _ worse _ … but at least have the decency to stop lying to me about it… And making me lie about it." 

  
  


He was so tired. His body hurt. His head felt weird from the lack of blood, and he just felt so done with this. 

Ever since Foggy found out, his exhaustion and frustration just morphed more and more into something new. Regret, guilt, resignation. 

But right now he couldn't help that something else joined the mix. 

Anger. 

"No…  _ You _ agreed." he simply stated as he moved to sit/lean against his desk. 

"Oh so this is an act of what? Rebellion? Do you enjoy making me worry? Seriously Matt, why don't you tell me those things."

Matt let out a slow exhale.

"Because-" Matt wasn't sure if this was the right way to do this. But he was at the end of his rope "because I can't keep fighting, Foggy" 

"Then why do you? Why go out, what looks like, every night? Huh? If you know you can't keep doing this without getting stabbed, why do you keep doing it?" 

"no, that's not- I can't keep fighting  _ you _ , Foggy. I can't, it's too much, I'm so sorry that I dragged you into this, but I can't, I can't do this." Matt's eyes prickled traitorously. 

A short silence settled over the room before his friend spoke up again. “What do you mean?" and Foggy actually had the audacity to sound confused. 

"Fogs, this, what we are doing right now, that's what I mean. I hated to make you worry or lie to you, before you found out, but now I can't help but think that was still better than this" Matt makes a tired gesture between them. 

"I can't win, Foggy, if I had told you this morning that I wasn't well, we would still have fought. But I'm in pain and exhausted. I'm so tired…. And I don't want to fight. Not with you. Not when I'm already beat" 

Foggy fidgeted a bit with his hands, but he eventually settled on the ground across from Matt, his breathing pattern changing a few times as if he wanted to say something. 

On his sixth attempt he managed, softly. 

"So why do you still go out, buddy? Can't you just not come to work bloody and half dead? Because that would really be a pretty good solution. Like, why do you insist on looking for trouble. I get that you want to help, I guess. But why not take some days off. Only go when you're at full strength? We also help people as lawyers, but when our caseload is full, we won't take more clients till a spot is free, right?"

  
  


"That's… You think I look for trouble? Foggy, that's not how it works… I… My senses, they don't have an off-switch. It doesn't matter if I'm outside in my gear on a roof, or in pyjamas in my bed. I will always hear the screams and the shouts, the gunshots, the cries for help that I can hear, isn’t coming until it’s too late or I’m there."

Foggy maked a choked sound at that, something between worry and confusion. 

" I don't think I get it." he said contemplatively and Matt was actually a bit surprised by this admission, "if you can't shut it off, then how do you do  _ anything."  _

"it's… how do I explain it… give me a second. How would you explain colors to me? It's like that. Kind of hard to explain something that the other hasn't experienced. And I feel like I've done a bad job before." he sat a bit straighter and immediately regretted it when his ribs protested. God why could those conversations never happen while he was  _ not _ in pain. 

But Foggy hummed in understanding… by now he had luckily calmed down and didn't radiate anger anymore or any of the other emotions that made Matt's gut clench. "Take your time buddy…. And yea that sounds hard” A sharper inhale “… But you have experienced color right? As a kid?" 

"hmm I did. But it's been a long time of  _ nothing  _ since then. I'm not really sure I remember. It's become more of a concept than anything" 

"But your World on Fire thing. You said you see that. Fire has color and all that…" the confusion was almost palpable and Matt cursed internally. 

"That's. Yea okay I think that's something I should have explained differently. 

I don't  _ literally _ see fire, Foggy. I don't see anything. I don't magically have images in my head.

It’s more of a patchwork of sensations. Like… Okay so, you sit across me. I get information like from sounds that bounce off of you, echolocation basically… Did you know that that's not just a thing for me? There's a lot of visually impaired people that will use snapping or clicking their tongue to get a grasp of their surroundings, through how sound gets reflected." 

“Seriously? I thought that was just a Bat and You thing" Foggy said with a bit more surprise in his voice, than Matt thought was strictly necessary. But he smiled slightly, when his friend snapped his fingers experimentally. 

"Yes it takes a bit of experience, but anyone can learn it theoretically… 

Okay So, echolocation is one thing. Then I hear your breathing, heartbeat, the way your clothes shift or your joints and skin make sound when you shift them-" he stopped at Foggy's mumbled "violation of privacy" 

"I'm sorry, I really try to not hear it. But I can't read faces and facial expressions. Gestures yes, but only roughly. It's hard to tune in on the finer movements that actually provide nuance. you can just look at someone’s face to tell how they are feeling, if they are in a mood, I can’t do that before they say something, unless I use some of the other information." 

"I hadn't thought about it that way….So, you don't actually know when someone raises an eyebrow?" 

hah. "No I don’t… okay let me get through the explanation quickly. I think it'll lead back to that too…. I could tell that you nodded though. Your long hair really helps in hearing that. 

So, aside from sounds, there's smells, like materials and history of where you've been recently, even stress and types of sweat give off different scents. 

And then there's tactile information… Like when you feel wind on your skin. Or heat, which also makes air move. There's almost always some air currents that will shift. Or vibrations in the ground when something moves.

And all that just comes together to give me information that substitutes visual input."

"okay I think I understand that. But why a World on Fire? That feels oddly specific." 

"It's… The input isn't really static. It's all those little vague pieces and they shift and change in intensity. They flicker... And that's the thing about shutting it off too. 

The input is always there. The flame is always burning. But it takes effort to make something of it. 

You ask how I do anything… Well, I focus."

The heartbeat of his friend did another thing then, "Oh! That changes a lot! I figured you had to strain to hear something far away. But if I actually understand it this time, it's the opposite?" 

At that Matt couldn't help but perk up a little. "yes! yes that's exactly it! I have to focus on the things close to me. And while I work or even while I am out there, I manage… mostly. But sleeping, or even just relaxing, doesn't really agree with focus" 

"That actually makes a lot of sense. And I guess out there, the adrenaline keeps you focused? But when you try to sleep and not focus, you will hear anything in a several block radius?" Matt nods, just glad that they were finally getting on the same page. "You said mostly though. What do you mean  _ mostly _ ." 

"I mean, yea in fights the adrenaline helps. Fight or flight, you know? But in everyday life, it can be hard to keep up that amount of concentration the whole time. And just, I have bad days. I know I shouldn't. I was trained better than that and I should be stronger. But sometimes I slip up. Like a bit ago when I knocked over the water.. Which I'm still sorry for. I really didn't mean to soak your desk." 

At that Foggy inhaled sharply "no, no wait, I'm the one that should apologize.. I thought you were just pretending, but you actually didn't know where the glass was? And I… I'm such a dick. I'm so sorry Matt."

"no it's fine, you didn't know. It's okay" Matt tried to reassure until Foggy got up and plopped back down, right beside Matt, close enough to take him in a half embrace and Matt couldn't help but melt into it. It had been so long since Foggy gave him this and he couldn't, can't, really ask for this. No matter how comforting this was. 

He just hoped he didn't sound as close to tears as he felt. 

"It's alright Fogs. You really had all the reasons to come to the conclusion. I mean it doesn't really make sense that I can't grab a glass in front of me when I also go out to fight like I do. I get why you wouldn't believe that I'm blind-" Foggy tightened his grip at that. 

"Is that what I made you think? That I don't believe you are blind?" and the tone was so filled with regret and clashed so hard against the echo of  _ are you even blind _ that Matt could feel the whiplash. He buried his head in his friend's shoulder before mumbling out his response. 

"you asked me that night. And I… I don't blame you, you had all reason to stop guiding me, or watch the furniture, stuff like that, or to not believe me when I couldn't do things like read from paper. And I mean I don't need guiding necessarily. And I can find my way around even unfamiliar places. I did have training after all."

Now with the proximity he could feel Foggy frown. And for a moment Matt was afraid he had said the wrong thing again. 

Instead, his friend just sounded damn much like a kicked puppy. Matt didn't think that was any better than anger. 

"You don't need it… But it helps, right? And I stopped, because I thought it was just part of the act… Oh God I can't believe I was being such an idiot. Matt, how come we didn't talk this out before. We're lawyers. Talking is our job. I'm sorry I made your life so much harder lately. I was so caught up in the whole supersenses thing, I forgot that that doesn't make you superhuman… or erases your--okay not  _ need _ … I'm keeping a lid on that can of worms for now, I don't think picking apart the way you got taught to deny yourself anything you don't strictly need, would be helpful right now…. So let's say, it doesn't erase the fact that you  _ benefit _ from some of the accessibility I can provide… Like narration or guiding or… I don’t know, being a decent human being and telling my blind office partner that I've moved furniture…. Am I getting this right"

Matt was pretty sure Foggy could hear the sniffle Matt tried to keep small. But he had reached his limit of holding back emotion and Foggy was just-. There were no words. He felt like they were back in college. That they finally understood and more importantly  _ trusted _ each other again. 

"Yea"... His voice definitely betrayed him now, if his previous sniffle hadn't already, "I'm sorry I made you think that I used you for some kind of performance or something. I'm sorry." he swallowed thickly because the next part needed to be said. "and I'm sorry but I won't stop going out. I can't. As long as I can save the people that I can hear every day, I will go out and do my best to be there for them." 

"I know buddy," Foggy sighed "I know. I don’t like it. I don't think I'll ever like that my best friend gets hurt so much, even if it's to save others… but I get it now." he rubbed Matt's back comfortingly and Matt couldn't believe he ever deserved a friend like him. 

"How about this. I'll be more accommodating again, and when you're having a bad day you tell me and give me permission to go full momma bear mode, okay? And when you're hurt or went out and it was rough, I give you a hug instead of letting out my anger on you? 

And in return you talk to me about those things. I really don't want us to get caught in such a loop again."

Matt couldn't do much more than nod against Foggy's shoulder, not trusting his voice anymore. 

The moment only ended when Karen returned with a bag of groceries. She gladly didn't comment on the scene of two highly emotional men hugging it out on an office floor, and he accepted the Gatorade and crackers gratefully when she handed it to Matt. 

There seemed to be a silent conversation to be going on between his two friends that ended up with him being coaxed on the couch in Foggy's office. 

He didn't mind. Too physically and mentally exhausted to resist. 

It didn't take a minute before he felt himself fall asleep, only barely registering Karen's warm words telling him how glad she was that he and Foggy made up. 

He fell asleep with a smile, because that was the truth. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want to open that other can of worms, aka Stick, the orphanage, Jack Murdock's A+ parenting 
> 
> (don't get me wrong. Jack loved Matt obviously and would have pulled the moon from the sky for him. But that doesn't mean that making your 9 year old stitch up your face is healthy for the kid)
> 
> Aka a ton of childhood trauma that accumulates in Mathew Murdock's complete lack of self worth and or self-preservation.
> 
> I have a lot of sleepless nights, so another shot at that might happen regardless


End file.
